


the thunder in your heart

by squishpunk



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishpunk/pseuds/squishpunk
Summary: Otoya very rarely felt genuine anger towards anything. Eiichi’s father was an exception.





	the thunder in your heart

Eiichi’s cries were softer tonight than usual, little staggered breaths and groans that slipped from his lips as he twitched in his sleep, but no matter how loud he was crying, and no matter how erratic his movements, Otoya would always wake up.

They had fallen asleep the same way they always did whenever Eiichi slept over, a web of limbs with Otoya’s head against Eiichi’s chest, Eiichi’s fingers tangled in Otoya’s hair. Otoya wasn’t sure how early it was when Eiichi’s whimpering roused him from his slumber, but he didn’t care. All of his work obligations for the next morning completely disappeared from his mind; protecting Eiichi was the only thing he needed to worry about doing right now.

Sitting upright and not bothering to look at the clock, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before turning to his still-asleep boyfriend. Eiichi’s arms remained curled by his side almost as if he didn’t notice that the body he had been holding had slipped from his grasp. His eyebrows were pushed together, outlining a series of creases in his forehead, and both rows of teeth were on display as he gritted them. Every so often, he would clench his fists, and his knees would inch closer to his chest as if he were trying to protect himself.

Otoya reached out and, carefully, brushed the backs of his nails against Eiichi’s cheek. As expected, he felt the damp stream of tears against his skin, and it made his own ruby red eyes burn out of sympathy for his poor lover.

He bent down and pressed a soft kiss to the beauty mark beneath the older man’s mouth, before then moving up to his cheek and finally, his closed eyelid. Though still deep in sleep, Eiichi seemed to have some sort of awareness that Otoya was there, as he twitched his nose in response to the tickle of warm breath against his face, and the next noise that escaped his lips was more of a gentle groan than a whine or gasp. Otoya pushed a hand through the disheveled chestnut locks, wanting to wake Eiichi up as soon as possible so he wouldn’t have to suffer through his bad dream for any longer, but also not wanting to startle him awake. (The nosebleed he had gotten the first time this happened served as a reminder that whacking Eiichi awake with a pillow while screaming his name was _not_ a good idea.) Otoya nuzzled the space beneath Eiichi’s ear, and whispered his name into the dark. “Eiichi~”

It worked. Rows of thick eyelashes burst open to reveal panicked violet eyes, and Eiichi sucked in a sharp, tortured breath as he was thrown back into the world of the conscious. His breaths were almost as rapid as his eyes as he kept blinking them to adjust to the darkness, and the incessantly pulsing of his heart could be felt in every muscle of his body. Once a familiar hand came to rest against his cheek, though, the movements in Eiichi’s body began to still.

“… Otoya…?”

Despite the sadness in his garnet eyes, Otoya smiled down at him. “You were having a bad dream again, it looks like.”

Amethyst eyes stared back up at Otoya, glistening with a childlike innocence and timidity, then frosted over with something else as the details of Eiichi’s dream apparently returned to him. Recognizing this expression immediately, Otoya said nothing else, merely opened his arms and motioned with his fingers for Eiichi to enter his embrace. Eiichi looked at him for a moment, then his Adam’s apple bobbed as he tentatively sat upright in Otoya’s bed before collapsing against the other man’s shoulder.

The redhead’s arms were like sunflower petals as they coiled around Eiichi’s back, pulling him closer until their chests were touching. Eiichi inhaled as if he were about to say something, but once he released that breath, all that came out with it was an agonized sob, much more intense and raw than any of the little grunts he’d been making in his sleep. It absolutely made Otoya’s heart shatter to hear a noise of such sheer heartache coming from the man he loved, so much that it took all of his strength to not start crying himself. For Eiichi’s sake, though, he would suck it up, so he merely tightened his grip around the taller man and began to rub the palm of his hand in soothing circles against Eiichi’s back, pressing a little bit harder when he took note of how much the other man was shaking. “Shhh… it’s okay, now, sunshine. You’re here with me. I’m here.”

Eiichi’s cries were muffled by the fabric of Otoya’s oversized soccer T-shirt, but Otoya could still hear them, and it hurt more and more to listen to with each one. His shoulder was probably soaked, but he didn’t care. After a while, Eiichi leaned back so he could wipe at his damp eyes and the little string of snot that had pooled under his nose.

Otoya had long stopped asking Eiichi if he wanted to talk about his nightmares after they happened. He knew by now that if he wanted to talk about them, he would, and if not, he’d just keep crying until Otoya was able to lull him back to sleep. Right now, Eiichi had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths - sucking in air through his nose, holding his breath for a few seconds, and then exhaling through his mouth. Otoya had taught him this breathing exercise, which he himself had learned from Masato, so Eiichi could use it during moments like this, and it seemed to work a good majority of the time. The younger man figured Eiichi was attempting to calm himself down so he could speak intelligibly, so he stayed put, ready to listen whenever Eiichi was ready to talk.

Finally, Eiichi swallowed thickly. “M… my father,” he started. His eyes darted to his hand as he gripped the bedsheets, his knuckles turning white. “I don’t… I don’t even know what I did wrong.” His lower lip trembled, and another round of sobs bubbled from his mouth - quieter and less agonized than the first time, but painful for Otoya to listen to nonetheless.

He took Eiichi back into his arms, and Eiichi brought his hands up around Otoya’s shoulder blades, pulling at his shirt desperately. “I don’t… I don’t know why he h-hates me so m-much,” the HEAVENS leader managed through his blubbering. “It… It's not like I… I didn’t… I didn't ask for this l-life.”

Otoya pulled him closer, his eyebrow twitching with something other than love for and the desire to protect Eiichi for the first time all night - anger. Otoya very rarely felt genuine anger towards anything. Eiichi’s father was an exception.

In fact, Otoya didn’t think it would be much of a stretch to say that what he felt for that man was pure, unadulterated hatred - something _extremely_ difficult for the guitarist to harbor towards anything or anyone. He was known to not only be able, but also willing, to see the good in everyone, no matter what. (He wouldn't be dating Eiichi right now if that weren't the case.) But ever since STARISH’s first encounter with HEAVENS, Otoya hadn’t been able to identify a single redeeming quality of Raging's. The fact that he had never given either of his sons any sort of love, and the fact that the only sort of approval they had ever gained from him was if it was something he could use for his own personal benefit, made Otoya’s blood boil almost as much as it made his heart break.

While the redhead’s own upbringing hadn’t been perfect, what with a dead mother and an unknown father, it was far from tragic - despite the lack of blood family, Otoya had still grown up surrounded by friends and caregivers who truly prioritized his well-being. At the very least, he had the luxury of knowing he was born out of love. Both Eiichi and Eiji’s entire existences were a product of hatred, their sole purposes to be puppets in helping their father enact a petty revenge scheme.

Otoya was content with having no father if it meant he didn’t have a father like _that_.

Right now, though, comforting Eiichi was more important than mulling over his resentment of Raging. So he brought his hand up to stroke Eiichi’s chocolate brown curls, which were currently tousled from sleep. Every few seconds, he’d turn his head to gently kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. It was salty with tears. “Everything’s okay now. I’m here. You’re safe with me.” He began to rock him back and forth gently. “Shhh. You don’t have to worry about him right now… I’m here to protect you. Nothing’s going to happen to you when I’m around, I promise.”

Eiichi sniffed and curled against him. “C-Can you call me that name…”

Otoya smiled warmly, knowing exactly what Eiichi was talking about. “I love you, sunshine,” he whispered, and his smile stretched wider across his features when he could feel Eiichi’s body relax in his embrace.

“I’m sorry… I… I w-woke you up,” Eiichi sniveled.

Otoya shook his head. “I don’t mind.” He really didn’t - of course it bothered him that Eiichi's home life was so miserable, and that he felt this way, but the task of comforting him was never as grueling as Eiichi made it seem. The highlight of Otoya’s days would always be seeing Eiichi smile, and whenever that smile faded, he would do anything it took to bring it back to Eiichi’s face.

“I love you,” were the next words the HEAVENS leader choked out, and Otoya’s heart throbbed. Eiichi was the type of person who had no filter when it came to saying what was on his mind, and Otoya was a highly emotional person in general, so naturally it wasn't uncommon for those words to be exchanged between the two of them. Still, no matter how many times he'd heard them, Otoya didn’t think he would ever get tired of it. He pulled Eiichi back down onto the mattress, not bothering to pull the crumpled sheets back over them, and continued stroking his hair and peppering soft kisses onto his nose, cheeks, forehead, and mole until his breathing evened out.

Once Otoya was sure Eiichi was asleep, he let the tears that he’d been holding in himself spill over his cheeks. It hurt him so much to see the man he loved so dearly in such excruciating pain. He knew he couldn’t have been hurting as bad as Eiichi was, but it still made his stomach turn each time Eiichi cried, and he wished he could do _more_.

He knew Eiichi would have to go back to work tomorrow, and that going to work meant having to deal with _him_ again. His nails dug into the palms of his hands as he balled them into fists thinking about the kind of disrespect and abuse Eiichi would have to endure tomorrow. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve it. No one did, but especially not somebody as wonderful as Eiichi.

“One day you’ll be away from him for good,” Otoya whispered to Eiichi’s sleeping frame. “I promise.”

He wanted nothing more than to take Eiichi - and all of HEAVENS, for that matter - away from Raging, to make sure they could all live peaceful and fulfilled lives without having to see his face ever again for the rest of their lives. He felt a knot in his stomach whenever he had to send Eiichi back home after every night of Eiichi sleeping over, knowing the kinds of things he would go through. But one day, he would save them. He would save all of them. For now, just holding Eiichi like this was all he could do, but he would do it for as long as he needed to.

Otoya wiped his tears away, sniffling quietly enough that Eiichi wouldn’t wake up again. He deserved a good night’s rest. He lightly set his forehead against his sleeping boyfriend’s, arms snaking around his waist. It didn’t take long for sleep to take Otoya as well, and he dreamed of a future where he and Eiichi were together, safe, and happy.


End file.
